i_rabbit

I feel this strange paradox in my life right now. The growing light of spring is bringing renewed physical energy while at the same time my psyche is wanting to retreat, hibernate, and digest all of the change that has occurred in the past six months. It is easy to direct the physical energy into productive things like building a home but it is often difficult to keep it from spilling over into ego driven clinging to either the illusion of memories or striving for a definition of “who I am going to be.” It is also strange how I feel an inner calling to be a man of strong will, in a leading position, “a man who is their centre of union,” yet I have no clue how this will manifest and my efforts lately have fallen short. The queues the cosmos are sending seem so contradictory lately with many things struggling to take form.

Of this Granny Ching says:

Hexagram 20 - Contemplation

Contemplation of my life
Decides the choice
Between advance and retreat.

“This is the place of transition. We no longer look outward to receive pictures that are more or less limited and confused, but direct out contemplation on ourselves in order to find a guideline for our decisions. This self-contemplation means the overcoming of naive egotism in the person who sees everything solely form his own standpoint. He begins to reflect and in this way acquires objectivity. However, self-knowledge does not mean preoccupation with one’s own thoughts; rather, it means concern about the effects one creates. It is only the effects our lives produce that give us the right to judge whether what we have done means progress or regression.”

I need to allow myself to mentally sit quietly and watch this movie unfold while channeling my physical power into the task at hand in the moment…