i_rabbit

I have been doing a lot of reading lately on various concepts of thinking and the mind, neurolinguistic programming, and therapeutic methodologies for managing self-change. One of the new ideas this has exposed me to is Gestalt Therapy - addressing change in the entire being, not just isolated areas. Many of the ideas that went into the founding of this methodology came from a holistic approach to the self and environment drawing from both eastern and western ideas. I read an essay yesterday by Magda Denes entitled Paradoxes in the Therapeutic Relationship where she lists six common paradoxes that emerge in traditional ‘Freudian’ approaches to relationships. The sixth one resonated with my own experience over the past few months:

The basic framework of psychotherapy is benevolence. Within that framework, the patient is placed through a punishing ordeal which varies with the type of therapy. In other words, the patient gets consistently disapproved of until he spontaneously “changes.” (my emphasis)

Now I am approaching this not from the perspective of psychotherapy, as I have no therapist, but rather how individuals form various relationships (most often subconsciously) to work through some of these issues of self-change. I can see many ways in all of my relationships where my actions (or inactions!) led to disapproval by others to the point of a breakdown, which triggered spontaneous change. Strip yourself down to the core - ground zero - begin anew. For me this occurred around February 28th when, feeling the lowest I had in years, I woke one morning, felt the rain on my face, and was suddenly renewed.

On that day I took direct action in several areas of my life, I began changing my entire gestalt, not just one aspect, but all areas; work, home, family, friends, lovers. Looking back I can see it as that crucial moment when the ’spontaneous change’ happened and I started taking new actions (or choosing action over inaction). Now one month later I see, feel, think, differently. I don’t have ‘all the answers’ yet, but I intuitively know that I am on the right path, that the changes I have made in my thinking and behavior feel qualitatively different and that my environment is responding in new and more positive ways. It will be interesting to come back to this in a few months (or years) and note how my entire gestalt has changed and how my outward environment reflects the internal.

One of the things I need most to work on is attachment, in general, and in particular; jealousy. Jealousy is my abyss!